HMMM ....

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted even a word, just been so crazy busy with life in general.  There is hope, while life is not slowing down at all am thinking that within in the next week I'll find time to gather my thoughts and blog once again!  Stay tuned ....

WHERE IN THE WORLD ...

have I been ... well ... this will not be a post of "where in the world is Matt Lauer", and actually I've been here for quite a while, just no time at all to blog.  So, in a nutshell, and that's if I can remember everything:

1) I've been in and out of hospitals and doctors with my Mother so many times I've lost count, but hopefully with her soon to be a permanent resident of Granite Mesa Healthcare Center in Marble Falls, Don and I will be able to reclaim our lives.

2) Been to Amarillo for a few days, and then called back due to my Mother being taken by ambulance to the hospital.

3) Been in Midland, and not Texas, for 14 fun-filled days celebrating Henry's 1st birthday, much fun and quite a bit cooler than the Hill Country.

4) Been going through mail, laundry and beginning yard work (gosh, didn't I say last year I wouldn't wait until June to start) ... ahh ... life happens!

5) Been to watch Dylan in one of his last baseball games ... such fun ... hoping for a better coach next year for the third graders!

6) Been to Eli and Sharon's, they've been here ... always a good time, with good food and conversation!

Well, what's next ... going to Houston to celebrate the Wehring's 50th wedding anniversary in August; goin' to take care of Dylan; Don has his military reunion, I have my Women of the ELCA Southwestern Texas Synodical Convention in Fredericksburg; and then the wonder of Fall, soon to be followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas.

That's about it for now, no more time to blog, so until next time ....

YIPEE ....

Henry's coming for a visit ... a very short visit, and he's bringing his Mom and Dad!  And hopefully, Dylan will be arriving as well and bringing his Mom and Dad!  YIPEE .... next Saturday, February 5th we'll have precious grandkiddos in our home, sorry Rascal :)  Praying for safe travel for all, beautiful weather, and a fun time together with lots of picture taking.  So my friends, until the next time ....

Overwhelmed ...

okay, so why do I do this to myself, in retirement isn't life supposed to be a bit easier with no worries?
     To start, there's my Mother and probably the biggest reason I'm overwhelmed.  It's like having a 95 year old child as she almost demands that I "do" for her, and granted there are some things I must do for her, take her to Doctors appointments, order and pickup prescriptions, take her to her hair appointment, weekly, actually thinking about it, with almost no vision, and hearing that seems to diminish daily, I do everything but bathe her, dress her, and fix breakfast and lunch ... she can still do those things.  But caring for her in our home leaves little time for me to do what I WANT TO DO as it seems whenever I start anything there's an interruption.  And what's sad, she's gone through all of her money but a few thousand dollars, so to put her in assisted living is out of the question, she will have to live in a facility that takes Medicad, and I'm currently looking.  She's lived with us for almost nine years, and it's time for Don and me to regain our privacy in our home and to be able to do and go as we please.
     Then there's my Church work, as President of the Women of the ELCA for our Congregation I have responsibilities for 2 meetings a month, a Board meeting and our General Meeting.  I enjoy my Church work, but don't think I'm at the top of my game because I'm distracted with my Mother.
     Then, I was appointed and then elected to serve on the Southwest Texas Women of the ELCA Synodical Board as the Hill County Board Member.  My responsibilities are to mentor approximately 20 Women of the ELCA Units in the Hill Country, ranging from Dripping Springs, Buda, Fredericksburg, Llano, Wimberly, Castell, Doss ... and to attend quarterly Synod Board Meetings.  This is something I really want to do, and believe it's my responsibility to serve and a way to give back to my Church.
     Then, there are all the responsibilities of the "house", and most important my life with Don, we want to travel more, and be able to just get up and go, which is impossible because of Mother; which takes me back to the first paragraph,  I do love my Mother, but  struggle with the almost burden she causes, and the strain now of having her in our home 24/7 for close to nine years ... guess I just need prayers, and to stop and listen so God's answers will be heard in my heart and the feeling of overwhelm will diminish ...

Christmas Memories from the Past .... REVISED

Was reflecting back ... way back ... to my childhood and some traditions that have continued into the raising of Carin and Melisa, let's see what I can recall ...

* We always had "real trees", and I always helped decorate as soon as I was tall enough.
* Always baked cookies with my Mother, somewhere there's a picture of me at 3 or 4 years, helping?
* Tom and I were allowed to open our smallest package under the tree on Christmas Eve.
* REVISED: How could I forget this one ... always had oyster stew for Christmas Eve dinner ... can we say torture for Tom and me, ugh!
* Always attended church on Christmas Eve, and there was only one service at 11:00pm.
* Our stockings were filled with an orange, apple, walnuts, some candy and some very small treasure.  They were hung on our bedroom door before morning and we could excitedly open their contents before Mom and Dad awoke.
* My Father insisted on breakfast BEFORE any package was opened, and he was a smoker in the house (remember I grew up in Iowa), and sometimes he had to have 2 cigarettes after breakfast ... pure agony!
* After all the excitement of toys, it was then on to Grandma and Grandpa Holmes house for a family gathering with Aunt Betty, Uncle Dick, Sharon, Peggy and Linda; Uncle Lloyd, Aunt Inez, Janet and Suzanne; Aunt Velma, Uncle Bud (Stan) and Joni, they owned a florist in Tama so he was sometimes called Uncle Bud.  I'm thinking as Grandma and Grandpa grew older we'd often go to Aunt Betty's, Uncle Lloyd's or to Aunt Velma (these Aunts and Uncle were my father's side of the family).
* I can still smell Grandma Holmes homemade cinnamon rolls as they were rising next to the heater.
* One of my most favorite memories was waking up on Christmas morning to a fresh, beautiful blanket of snow ... there is nothing quite as beautiful.
* Then, of course, at some point during Christmas vacations there was the building of snowmen, ice skating and it didn't matter if the temperature was below zero, I'd beg my father to take me to the outside skating rink (finally as a teen we did have an enclosed ice skating rink).  And not to forget the new snow sled, such simpler times, no CD's, DVD's, computers or all the other electronics, I really feel sad for children today ... we had to be creative, and we played outside ...

     Ahh, the "good old days", what a wonderful and magical childhood I had ... well, still have lots to do before Christmas Eve, so my friends, I'll reminisce about Carin and Melisa's Christmas as children in another post, until then ... Have a very Merry Christmas, and may God Bless you and your families in the New Year, Love to all who may read this ....

Exactly 12.9 miles ....

from our carport to Tamale King!  Trivia, I know, but it's been a crazy month and I've found myself not doing things I should be doing, or want to do, because of my Mother's health.  Like our mini-family reunion I missed since she was in the hospital, that's totally understandable.  But today I should have been with Don as he traveled to Houston for the funeral of longtime friend, and "old man ski trip" buddy Ray Lester ... couldn't go with him as Mother couldn't stay alone for that lengthy period of time.
     So it's time, it's time for me to start living my life with Don once again; which means, in January, I'll have to look for a facility where she can live, it's not going to be easy for her and she will no doubt make it difficult for me, so if in the next few months I'm on edge, please be patient and pray for us as we complete this transition.  There are so many things I want to do with my life, and it's time.
    Which brings me back to 12.9 miles, and a drive through Inks State Park headed to Tamale King to pick up tamales for Christmas Eve dinner with Carin, Rusty and Dylan.  Do you know how beautiful that drive is through the Park, even in the gray of winter, the scenery is breathtaking at certain turns, we are so lucky to live in the Texas Hill Country.
     Well my friends, Christmas Eve is almost upon us, what a glorious time this is, and it truly is my favorite time of the year for so many reasons.  We received a card today and I'll close tonite with it's verse, "The gift of love, the gift of peace, the gift of happiness, may these be yours at Christmas", and always!  Until next time ....

God has a different plan ....

well, it's been a wild 10 days, what happened to Thanksgiving, and the short time Melisa and Henry came for their visit, it was wonderful and then God's plan happened.  You know He has plans for all of our lives and the blips on life's highway help us to grow in strength, compassion, understanding, faith, love, hope.  Our family has been through a lot in the last two weeks with my Mother's hospitalization ... went in for an intestinal bleed and came out with a pacemaker ... how'd that happen?
     It's God's plan, I think sometimes He's hoping I'll become more compassionate as I know I'm lacking in that department a lot so He throws me these curve balls, so "what's she gonna do with this one?"
     Well it's been emotional, exhausting both physically and mentally, and the emotions continue to build ... I'm so tired and am now a real caregiver, even more so.  The good news is that Home Health came for a visit today and we're going to have nursing visits 3 times a week, a physical therapist, and someone to help bathe Mother until she regains her strength ... the not so good news ... I'm no where ready for Christmas and our plans for a trip to Michigan might not happen.  Oh why can't Melisa, John and Henry be just a little closer?  Oh, that too was God's plan.
     Am tired, and don't have the answers for any of my questions, but maybe my brother's prayers for my continued strength and health will be answered and that one day Don and I will regain our life and continue on the plan God has for us.  Love to all, so until next time ....