Overwhelmed ...

okay, so why do I do this to myself, in retirement isn't life supposed to be a bit easier with no worries?
     To start, there's my Mother and probably the biggest reason I'm overwhelmed.  It's like having a 95 year old child as she almost demands that I "do" for her, and granted there are some things I must do for her, take her to Doctors appointments, order and pickup prescriptions, take her to her hair appointment, weekly, actually thinking about it, with almost no vision, and hearing that seems to diminish daily, I do everything but bathe her, dress her, and fix breakfast and lunch ... she can still do those things.  But caring for her in our home leaves little time for me to do what I WANT TO DO as it seems whenever I start anything there's an interruption.  And what's sad, she's gone through all of her money but a few thousand dollars, so to put her in assisted living is out of the question, she will have to live in a facility that takes Medicad, and I'm currently looking.  She's lived with us for almost nine years, and it's time for Don and me to regain our privacy in our home and to be able to do and go as we please.
     Then there's my Church work, as President of the Women of the ELCA for our Congregation I have responsibilities for 2 meetings a month, a Board meeting and our General Meeting.  I enjoy my Church work, but don't think I'm at the top of my game because I'm distracted with my Mother.
     Then, I was appointed and then elected to serve on the Southwest Texas Women of the ELCA Synodical Board as the Hill County Board Member.  My responsibilities are to mentor approximately 20 Women of the ELCA Units in the Hill Country, ranging from Dripping Springs, Buda, Fredericksburg, Llano, Wimberly, Castell, Doss ... and to attend quarterly Synod Board Meetings.  This is something I really want to do, and believe it's my responsibility to serve and a way to give back to my Church.
     Then, there are all the responsibilities of the "house", and most important my life with Don, we want to travel more, and be able to just get up and go, which is impossible because of Mother; which takes me back to the first paragraph,  I do love my Mother, but  struggle with the almost burden she causes, and the strain now of having her in our home 24/7 for close to nine years ... guess I just need prayers, and to stop and listen so God's answers will be heard in my heart and the feeling of overwhelm will diminish ...